Breathing

I have quite a few worries and stresses keeping my mind occupied at the moment, which is challenging for me to keep in control as I am such a chronic worrier.  Amazingly, I really think I'm getting better and not letting things bother me when they shouldn't.  Or something like that, anyway.

Despite these worries, (which are annoyances more than proper concerns) I'm feeling rather content and positively overwhelmed by living through some of the most moving experiences I've had in a really long time.  I feel I've worked hard on myself over the past few years to just go for it and have a 'screw it' attitude when it comes to doing the things that are truly important to me and that fundamentally help me breathe.

It's nice to slow down for a minute and think about the impact of what I've been up to

xoxo

Post Gigathon and Glasgow Love

I've had quite some time to reflect over my gigathon experience.  There are two main outcomes from this reflection:

1) I am ridiculously happy that I did it

2) I fell in love with Glasgow 

There is a sort of third, but it's this huge, emotional outcome that's going to be difficult to collate and put into any sort of cohesive narrative.  I'll try.  (Feel free to ignore all that bit when it comes).

But first, 1) and 2).  Simply put I feel so empowered and relieved that I went ahead and made that week a real experience.  I love that on quite a whim I decided 'fuck it' and booked a week off work to traipse around the UK willy nilly listening to some (favourite) bands that happened (amazingly) to be playing within days of each other.  When I type it out like that, I do get a slight 'woah' moment.  After all the emotional trauma I've dealt with in the last few years and some of the physical results of that I am beyond ecstatic that I did something truly for me.  It may be the first instance of that to be honest.  It felt incredible.  Music, art and film really do feed my soul and as far as I'm concerned (other than having amazing people I love in my life) are my primary and most significant joy in life.  I truly believe it's music and film and art that essentially helps my breathe and feel and be.  The experience of totally enveloping myself in all of that, completely alone, it wonderfully overwhelming and feels so pure in its intentions.  It really has changed my life.

I'm so glad Glasgow was a part of this experience.  What a wonderful place.  It felt like home, to be honest.  That scares me slightly.  I have this terrible fear of being in the wrong place in life, and it did shake me to think that maybe I'm supposed to be somewhere else (particularly having tried to move away a few times over the past couple of years.)  I am trying to put that thought aside slightly, as I want to truly enjoy what was the coolest place I've been (since Berlin?) that made me feel good about being me, and loving what I love, and feeling at ease with what is at its core just my nature.  

Glasgow is a shit city if you're a graffiti hunter like me though (see bottom picture) as there is very little.  Or I found very little anyway!

I'm not going to harp on too much about point 3, which isn't really a point as I'm still fuzzy about it.  But I guess what points 1 and 2 do collectively is make me feel really comfortable in my own skin about what I adore about this world.  Creativity, searching for beauty, feeding my soul.  In recent months I've met some wonderful people (now friends I hope) who love what I love.  For the past few years, due to changes in circumstances (blah blah blah) I have been without people in my life who are 'into the same stuff as me.'  I have amazing friends who have helped me survive my lowest ebb and have helped me celebrate my highest peaks, and they are what makes my heart beat.  But I have felt that the one thing I was missing was someone to spill out all of my thoughts and feelings about music (and film) to.  Meeting these guys in the last four or so months has brought me such joy, and also a sense of relief.  I don't feel stifled by my obsessions anymore.  I feel liberated, as there are people I can reach out to who get it.  They just get it.  And they are helping me feel more alive each day because I feel less alone at a time in my life where I could feel completely and utterly lonely.  It's incredible.  People are incredible.  Music is incredible, and how it brings people together has changed my life.  From the small things to some of the major things.  I said I wouldn't harp on too much...

Below are some shots of Glasgow.  I begin and end with 'graffiti' in a somewhat ironic way!

Until next time Glasgow...

Until next time gigathon...

And hopefully, the next time I feel like the truly liberated Gwyneth won't be far away...xoxo

She's about to pick up that guy.  This is also the first Glasgow photo I took.  I'm happy with that!

Someone must have walked home barefoot

Sunshine!

Booze and locals

The darkest clouds

Glasgow is a city of contrasts.  Where some amazing old building are cherished and cared for others are demolished to make room for modernity.

Truck decor

Worst graffiti ever...fact.  Glasgow was not the place to hunt graffiti.  If someone knows differently, let me know!

Home Made Festival/Gig-a-thon/Independence

For the past few months I have been really looking forward to November.  So, to begin, yesterday I was honoured to witness two dear friends get married (to each other) and it felt incredible to be a part of their day.

The other huge reason I've been so focused on wanting November to arrive is that I'm embarking on a bit of an adventure.  Over the course of the next five days I'll be seeing four bands that are significant to me play live.  This adventure will also mean a fair bit of travelling.  I will be using planes, trains and automobiles, as it happens!  

The itinerary looks a bit like this:

Saturday - Beach House, Bristol

Sunday - Godspeed You!  Black Emperor, London

Monday - Spiritualized, London

Tuesday - Rest!

Wednesday - Animal Collective, Glasgow.

I know.  Amazing isn't it?  All these incredible bands playing within days of each other.  I almost feel as though their tour schedules were for my benefit, so that I could something as exciting as this.  I'm embarking on this adventure alone too, which is really key for me.  I don't want to ever feel dependent on anyone else to do the things that are important to me.  Especially when that involves creativity.  I'm really excited to write about each gig here.  I want to always remember how big a deal this is to me at this moment, and how fulfilling it is to be doing something so 'me' without it being for anyone else.  I guess I want to be a bit selfish...

I'll be back with a post about Beach House soon  xoxo

Le petit pick-me-up

I was feeling a little low earlier.  I always get anxious on weekends if I don't have lots and lots of plans.  As much as I love the opportunity to be a little slower paced, my "your life is passing you by" button kicks in pretty bad and I tend to get all boo hoo.  First world whinge eh?

I felt tired too (as well as a bit boo hoo) and thought "I need to get away from my head for a little while."  As I didn't have my passport handy to just get to the airport and say "book my a place on the next flight outta here baby" (although I am determined to do this one day) I thought a little escapism at the cinema would be ideal.  I live around the corner from an independent cinema and have seen lots there recently (please see last post!).  I decided to just see whatever film was on next, and that film was..... Le Petit Nicolas.  A film based on some French children's books.

And I adored it.  Such a sweet, laugh out loud, pick-me-up of a film.  Seriously sweet, but not toooo saccharine.  The characters are fab, and the cast amazing.  Each one of the young, adorable little guys in this films were perfection on screen!  Something else I really liked about the film was the opening titles.  I basically fell in love with the film from the beginning.  Another plus;  the film is set in the 1960s and is not in any way an over the top, mod-esque parody of the era.  Even more loveliness for me to enjoy!

If you get a chance, check it out.  If it doesn't make you smile, I'm not sure what will...

Here's the trailer

And here's the brilliant title sequence!

Go see it!  Go see it!

xoxo

 

Disappointing Myself

I had an experience last week where I as really disappointed in myself.  I was angry, annoyed and frustrated, but most of all I was disappointed.  I had only let myself down.  In my book, that's the worst kind of disappointment, as it's completely avoidable.

The days following that experience I felt empowered to change things, and have taken massive steps to do so.  I now feel relieved that I have been able to being to overcome something I thought was imposible.  Jeez!  

Anyway, I think it's important to listen to other people's advice and guidance when it comes to navigating challenging situations, but ultimately....(get ready for some valid cheesiness) 

Have a lovely Sunday everyone, Gwyn xoxoxo

Going Too Fast

Aside from today's other post, I haven't posted for soooo long.  I think it's a mixture of things that's caused this unintentional break, but mainly I think it's because I've been kinda busy, and also a little uninspired.  Bit of a rubbish combination, really.  Some of the things that have been going on (and therefore distracting me) include:

Losing some weight and cracking out the flimsy and floaty summer dresses I've been afraid of wearing.  This is a pretty big deal to me, to be honest.  Bare legs are not something I've been comfy with for a while and making a shift in my mentality is both challenging and fun.

Sorting out my hair colour.  My attempt at red hair didn't initially go to plan due to my (trusted at the time,  but now not trusted) botching it up royally and making quite the mess.  This was pretty upsetting as a) I like my hair and b) I keep it in good condition, so to have all of that ruined (and me paying £100 for the privilege) was deeply frustrating.  

I finally put my trust in another stylist, and we're not on our way to getting the colour I originally wanted!  The Chinese food was my lunch that day.  It was yum!

Due to a particularly difficult day at work, and the insane heat here, ice cream is now a better friend than ever.  It's how I roll during tough/hot times.

A visit to Bristol, just for fun.

Finding a pair of 1960s earrings that I feel like I've been searching for for ages has made me veeeery happy indeed.

I'm feeling rather inspired right now, and have been drawing all day (new Sharpies have helped) and I hope this inspiration trip continues....!  Now I'm off to a quiz about historical failures!  I'm really excited!

xoxo

Ballgowns and Rain

I hopped on a train this past week and headed to London in order to a) visit one of my closest friends who's just moved there b) have some intense and incredible music experiences (I had two gigs on the itinerary) and c) see two of my other friends and tell them how much I miss them and leave them with plenty of hugs (even though Nicole is the opposite of tactile, I insist that we hug.  I'm a bossy friend I guess)

The weather was schizophrenic to say the least, but I didn't care that much as I was only there foe the specific reasons listed above.  Whatever.

I really didn't take that many photos, even though I lugged my camera around everywhere.  I guess I'm still a little self-conscious about pulling out my big clunky DSLR for every small thing (even though my bestie would argue I whip it out at the most ludicrous times.  Her life is totally documented by me, much to her annoyance.  I think she'll thank me one day.)

This guy was incredible...though I did find it slightly creepy to be honest.

Some snaps from the V&A where we saw the Ballgowns exhibition.  It was magical!

My dress with its psychedelic print

Traffic cone installment at the V&A entrance.

Did you guys have a lovely weekend with crazy weather?! xoxo

Stepping Forward

Sometimes you feel you're kinda going in a direction you weren't planning on.

Sometimes I guess it feels you have to stop for a little before stepping forward in the direction you're aiming for.  I take that that's life, right?

I'm going through an experience right now where I had assigned myself to it never happening, but it is. It actually is, and more than that, I'm in control.  Which is the beeest part.

I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

xoxo

Pop!

Without a doubt, one of my new favourite iphone camera apps is the Pop Camera.  I love the look and feel of multiple photo shots, and can't believe how lovely they come out using this app.

Here are a few examples from my weekend!

 Two

 Quad

Eight

 Double Exposure

 And again,

 And again!

 Nine

 Double exposure

Eight again

And here's one of just how happy the weekend made me!  (My new sunglasses helped too, mind!)

Do you have any new favourite apps?  Share!  I love finding new ones x

xoxox